The Rosie and Roula Show

Hate at First Sight - Is it Justified?

• Roula Abou Haidar and Rosie Burrows

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0:00 | 12:46

Gut Feelings, First Impressions & Is It Okay Not to Like Someone?

Can you trust your gut feeling when you meet someone new? Is it ever okay not to like someone before really knowing them?
In this holiday rerun of The Rosie & Roula Show, Rosie and Roula dive into intuition, first impressions, cultural differences, and gut feelings. From childhood memories to adult experiences, they explore when it’s valid to trust your instincts—and when bias might get in the way.

This episode is perfect for anyone who’s ever asked themselves: “Do I really have to like everyone I meet?”

🎙️ What We Talk About in This Episode:

  • Is it okay not to like someone before knowing them?
  • Split-second judgments and first impressions from childhood to adulthood
  • Real-life examples of gut feelings in professional and personal settings
  • How cultural differences and sarcasm can influence initial impressions
  • Confirmation bias: seeing only what confirms our initial thoughts
  • How to balance intuition with openness
  • Why it’s okay to trust your gut—without feeling guilty

💡 Key Takeaways:

  • Your intuition is a valuable tool to guide you
  • First impressions aren’t always wrong, but be mindful of bias
  • Cultural differences can shape how we perceive people
  • You don’t need to justify every dislike
  • Following your gut can help maintain personal boundaries and safety

🔍 SEO Keywords & Search Phrases:

trusting your gut, first impressions, intuition and decision-making, podcast on first impressions, Rosie and Roula Show, is it okay not to like someone, cultural differences in judgment, confirmation bias podcast, trusting intuition as an adult, social boundaries conversation

💬 Join the Conversation:

Have you ever disliked someone at first sight only to change your mind later—or were you proven right?
Do you trust your gut, or do you try to keep an open mind no matter what?
Share your experiences and help us explore this fascinating topic.

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[00:00:00] Roula: What are you eating? It looks like a pizza. 

[00:00:03] Rosie: is an Australian delicacy called Vegemite. So, white bread, toasted, real butter, with Vegemite. Which is a spread that, it's quite salty, but it's delicious. Maybe I have to send you a jar ruler and get 

[00:00:21] Roula: No, don't. 

[00:00:22] Rosie: No, 

[00:00:24] Roula: I 

[00:00:24] Rosie: you have to, 

[00:00:25] you've tried 

[00:00:25] Roula: a jar of Nutella. 

[00:00:28] Rosie: You're a sweet tooth then. 

[00:00:30] Roula: I tried it. It looks, it felt like I'm eating fuel,

[00:00:36] Rosie: But how much did you put on? 

[00:00:39] Roula: Oh, I think I tried it. on a spoon. 

[00:00:42] Rosie: Ew! No, okay, no, That's disgusting. I just have like the tiniest bit on. It's, it's good if you know how to eat it. Some people have it really thick. That's gross. Don't do that. And don't eat it by the spoonful. Rookie error. You needed me to guide you. 

[00:00:58] Roula: I had long time ago an Australian friend living here in Amsterdam in the first years that I was in Amsterdam. Was from her that I tasted it. It was delicious. And it 

[00:01:09] Rosie: And she 

[00:01:09] let you eat it by the spoonful. That is mean. She knew what she was doing.

[00:01:16] Roula: Probably, probably. She was sweet though, but I don't know where she is now. No, I'm kidding.

[00:01:22] Rosie: just spat my food out. Oh, 

[00:01:25] Anyway. 

[00:01:26] Roula: one found her anymore. Like, they're still looking.

[00:01:31] Rosie: know if you're joking or not. Jeez. 

[00:01:33] Roula: I am joking, I am. She's in Brisbane.

[00:01:36] TRRS Intro: Welcome to the Rosie and show 

[00:01:45] Marhaba. Good day.

[00:01:48] Roula: Rosie, 

[00:01:49] is it okay not to like someone before you even know them?

[00:01:57] Rosie: I want to say no, but I do this all the time. And I like to think I'm not a judgmental person, but sometimes just based on, how I heard your cat, 

[00:02:10] Roula: He's such a needy cat. 

[00:02:12] Rosie: he wants to be in the podcast. He says it's okay to not like somebody before meeting them.

[00:02:17] I agree. 

[00:02:18] Roula: So what makes you not like a person? 

[00:02:21] Rosie: Oh, I'm going to sound so horrible. You know what it makes me think of in primary school, there was this new girl.

[00:02:28] So it was like halfway through the year, something like that. And she sat with my friend group. I remember just looking at her going, I don't like your face. Like, I don't like you. How awful is that? But then, you know, I got talking to her and actually she was lovely. So, I'm glad I didn't go with my initial instinct.

[00:02:50] It's really weird how we make these split second decisions. It's bizarre. I'm guessing you do. it 

[00:02:59] Roula: Oh, I'm sure, and I will share also with you what I do. My question also to you is that, is it wrong not to like someone before we know them?

[00:03:11] Rosie: is this before we know them? as in we haven't spoken to them, or we just don't know much about them?

[00:03:18] Roula: Both. Like, we just don't know them.

[00:03:21] Rosie: Okay. Well, if, if, if they've spoken to me or we've had a conversation before, absolutely, it's okay, because they might be saying, awful things, sexist things, racist things, derogatory things.

[00:03:35] If they are like that, a hundred percent, it's okay not to like them.

[00:03:38] I don't think it's funny, And I also don't think it's funny, even if they're joking about it. Why joke about something like that? Fuck off. It's not funny. But I'm not sure what it's like in the Netherlands, but in Australia, it's still quite normal to make jokes about things that aren't actually very funny.

[00:03:58] They're very serious topics like, I don't know, being an alcoholic or suicide or racism. People joke about it and I go, the frick are you doing? So in that case, yeah, I feel okay about judging them and going, I don't like you.

[00:04:13] Roula: The other lot is the same. 

[00:04:15] People joke about, you know, the Dutch people are sarcastic. I don't know.

[00:04:24] Rosie: Mm. 

[00:04:25] Roula: Very sarcastic. And it's hard for me. It's hard for me because 

[00:04:32] I interact with two 

[00:04:33] cultures, one heavier than the other, of course, at the moment, in the Netherlands. The Lebanese culture, 

[00:04:41] they judge, they're, people make jokes and laugh by simply making other, uh, insulting others.

[00:04:51] It's 

[00:04:51] Rosie: Yeah. 

[00:04:53] Roula: Talking shit about them and everyone laughs. So these kind of people who make these kind of jokes, even if they were my family or very, I don't know. Everyone talk about them so good. When they make this kind of jokes, I'm not going to like them. And please don't change my mind, even though they get slights me like.

[00:05:13] Why am I making such a big deal of it? Why don't I like this person? Look what they do. They're so good and they have a good family and whatever. The fact that they make these kind of stupid, hurtful jokes is enough reason not to like them. I don't even need to know them because I'll argue with them, I'm sure.

[00:05:31] Rosie: Yeah. 

[00:05:33] Roula: And here in the Netherlands, the sarcasm just pushed me away. 

[00:05:37] So when I hear a person being sarcastic, I I feel like I don't have an interest to get to know them. 

[00:05:45] Rosie: Right. 

[00:05:48] Roula: I should change my mind and, you know, be open minded, etc. It's just, I don't know what the added value to me to spend my time with someone who finds joy.

[00:06:01] I can't even have a conversation with someone. 

[00:06:03] I'm going to tell you a story that brought this question to my mind.

[00:06:08] Two stories. Now that we are living in a new city, I'm seeing only new faces. And I'm not feeling in my place. So I'm very critical with the moment my eyes are seeing. 

[00:06:24] Rosie: Mm. 

[00:06:25] Roula: And sometimes I feel comfortable. Sometimes I don't. And I'm following my feeling, but it hasn't been a situation where I really find someone and I didn't like.

[00:06:36] But I'm ready for it. It's like I know it's going to come. The second story is that I had a pre interview with a guest. The moment she showed up on the camera, I didn't like her. 

[00:06:53] Rosie: Can 

[00:06:53] I way she was sitting, the way she was looking, I don't know, something in her told me to be careful.

[00:07:03] Roula: Ironically, I was right, because she I didn't have the chemistry with her, so I couldn't give her the point in this pre interview on what I really want from her, because she kept telling me that what I want is not relevant as long as I ask my audience what they want. So she was like telling me what to do on my podcast.

[00:07:26] Rosie: Wow. 

[00:07:29] Roula: And in my head, I was thinking I was so right about this person, just the way she's looking at me through the camera. gave me already this feeling I should get out of here. You know, and I followed my feeling after the interview. I sent her a message that I don't think we're a good, we had a good connection and we're not going to proceed with the interview.

[00:07:55] She replied to me, I agree with you. I don't see an added value to be on your podcast. 

[00:08:01] Rosie: Well, great.

[00:08:02] Whatever. All It's great. We agree 

[00:08:05] Roula: on that. And this brought it to my mind. Even through the camera lens, I did not like this person.

[00:08:13] Rosie: I want to ask, cause there's this thing called confirmation bias. I don't know if you've heard of it, but you have this belief. So you saw her and like, I don't like it. Not a good person.

[00:08:24] And confirmation bias is where we look for information to back up our existing belief. Do you think that is what happened? 

[00:08:35] Roula: I think this is what happened because it blocked me from opening up, feeling comfortable, asking questions, the things that I would do with another guest with chemistry. So this confirmation bias was there. And the longer we went into the conversation, the more I got clues and confirmation that were not clicking. 

[00:09:06] Rosie: Yeah. 

[00:09:07] Roula: That I don't like her. 

[00:09:08] 

[00:09:08] Roula: I don't like her. And that's 

[00:09:12] Rosie: right? It's okay. You do not have to like everybody, and just because you don't like somebody doesn't mean you're a bad person. 

[00:09:20] Roula: Isn't it? 

[00:09:21] Rosie: Hmm. 

[00:09:22] Roula: Even in regular conversation, let's say you're with your friends now as a grown, not in school time. At the moment, you're an adult. You're with your friends. They have people around you. People come in and there's someone you don't like. Then they ask you, why don't you like this person? What do you do when you don't have a reason?

[00:09:43] It's just, it's me. That's my body. And my mind is telling me, I don't like this person.

[00:09:51] Rosie: Yeah. And do you have to justify it? 

[00:09:55] Roula: Sometimes you do because people want to know. They want to convince you that you're 

[00:09:59] wrong. Because it's their friend or someone they know. 

[00:10:04] Rosie: right? Yeah. Mm. 

[00:10:05] Roula: And then everything about you is saying, I don't want to like this person.

[00:10:12] Rosie: so. do you tell them it's just a gut feeling, it's intuition? 

[00:10:16] Roula: No, I haven't. Like when these things happen, I try to find a reason why I don't like that person.

[00:10:23] So is the gut feeling okay? Okay.

[00:10:26] Rosie: I think so. Because when I don't trust my gut, or intuition, whatever you want to call it, when I don't trust it, things usually go sideways.

[00:10:34] That is what I have learned. 

[00:10:37] Roula: gut feeling is there to tell us something. 

[00:10:40] Rosie: I think so. It's there to keep us safe. 

[00:10:43] Roula: Yes, I always say to my daughters, follow your gut feeling.

[00:10:48] Rosie: Yes, that's brilliant advice. Absolutely. So to answer your question, we have to say either yes or no. Is it okay not to like someone if you don't know them? Yes or no? Yes. Absolutely.

[00:11:01] Roula: us a message. We want to hear from you. And maybe you will change our mind. 

[00:11:07] Rosie: So you're not giving an answer! Yeah, I think, I think it's Yes, I'm not going to overthink it?

[00:11:12] Yes, it's okay. Let us know though, I think a lot of people are going to disagree. Let's hear it?

[00:11:18] I like a good challenge. Yeah, ditto. 

[00:11:20] Roula: It's fine. If we feel safe not to like in someone, it's fine. 

[00:11:24] Rosie: It's fine, yes.

[00:11:26] Roula: I don't want to influence anyone else, but I'm open for answers. So call in and let us know what you think. See you next time.

[00:11:33] Rosie: Bye!