The Rosie and Roula Show

Should Men Put The Toilet Seat Down?

• Roula Abou Haidar and Rosie Burrows

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Toilet Seat Wars, Fairness & Hygiene: A Surprisingly Deep Conversation

Is putting the toilet seat down really about manners—or is it about fairness, hygiene, and shared responsibility?
In this hilarious and unexpectedly thoughtful rerun episode of The Rosie & Roula Show, Rosie and Roula dive into one of the most debated household topics of all time: the toilet seat dilemma.

What starts as a lighthearted rant about late-night bathroom accidents and bad aim quickly turns into a deeper conversation about gender norms, equality vs equity, household rules, hygiene, parenting, and respect in shared spaces. If you’ve ever argued about the toilet seat—or silently resented it—this episode is for you.

Perfect for the holidays, this classic conversation still hits home and will have you laughing, nodding, and maybe rethinking your bathroom rules altogether.


🎙️ What We Talk About in This Episode:

  • The eternal debate: Should people with a penis put the toilet seat down?
  • Why toilet seat arguments are really about fairness and shared responsibility
  • The reality of public toilets, hygiene fears, and squatting survival
  • Parenting dilemmas: teaching boys to sit or stand when peeing
  • COVID-era hygiene lessons that actually make sense
  • Why closing the lid before flushing might be the fairest solution for everyone
  • Gender expectations, household rules, and silent resentments
  • When “rules” cross the line into control or offense

💡 Key Takeaway:

Instead of arguing about who should lift or lower the seat, Rosie and Roula land on a surprisingly simple, fair, and hygienic solution:
👉 Everyone closes the lid before flushing.
No drama. No gender wars. No bacteria flying through the bathroom.

🎧 Why This Episode Is Worth Replaying:

This rerun episode is funny, honest, and wildly relatable. It captures exactly why small household issues often reflect bigger conversations about respect, boundaries, and equality in relationships. It’s a reminder that sometimes the simplest solution really is the smartest one.

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Rosie: [00:00:00] Welcome to the Rosie and Ruella show. We are so excited to have you here. Ruella's going to kick it off with a big question.

Roula: What do you think, Rosie? Should persons with penis put down the toilet seat for persons with vagina or not? 

Rosie: Yes! Pisses me off! 

Rosie: Yeah! 

Roula: What pisses you off? 

Rosie: The little piss on the toilet bowl.

Rosie: because they just can't aim. Plus, if it's late at night and I try to sit down because I haven't got the light on, I sit on a cold, toilet bowl and almost fall in. It drives me bonkers. You know what would be even better? If they just sat down to pee. 

Roula: Okay. How about persons with penis being annoyed that we don't pull it up for them.

Roula: So when they get in there, they don't have to touch it and they can just do their thing. Pee. 

Rosie: No, they just sit down. 

Roula: I say do their thing because I don't know what they're 

Roula: doing. 

Rosie: As much as I would love to stand up and wee, I feel like, [00:01:00] like, that would be very cool. I don't really think it's biologically possible for us as women, right, or those of us with a vagina, without some external things.

Rosie: So, it's perfectly possible for them to sit down and urinate, so why don't they just do that? Easier for everybody. Nobody's touching the toilet seat. Hmm. I don't know. 

Rosie: Okay, you know, because I have a son and when I find myself teaching my son how to pee and telling him to sit down and pee and then we go to public toilet and I feel so glad for him that he doesn't need to sit down on a dirty toilet and then I'm telling him oh don't sit down just stand up and pee so you don't get dirty and this makes me confused do I want him to sit and pee or do I want him to stand up and pee?

Rosie: This is true! For hygienic reasons. 

Rosie: Yeah, public toilets are gross. I tend to squat. [00:02:00] Right? I don't like sitting on public toilets. This is a very, very good point. Maybe it's about teaching him to context switch. I do have 

Rosie: a problem with squatting in the Netherlands. Yeah. The toilet seats are so high and I'm so small .

Rosie: You need a stepping stool. That is, 

Rosie: that is a problem. I know you can get disposable toilet seat covers for when you travel. I've never actually used them, but maybe that's something you could carry around. 

Roula: Well, when we, when we go traveling by cart in Europe and the kids were little, we had a toilet bag.

Roula: with this paper that you cover the toilet seat. I had also hygienic towels cause I cleaned around it before. I had like this latex, latex gloves so I can make it clear. And you know what? My kids would be standing terrified because if they touch anything in there, I would go crazy. So they would be waiting for me to clean the public toilet seat.

Roula: [00:03:00] Oh my God. 

Rosie: Oh my God. That would drive me. And 

Roula: this is all because. There is so much pee around it. Ugh, that's 

Rosie: true. Ugh. Ugh. Let's bring this back to something less gross. I like to think Less gross. Okay. Yeah. So in terms of equality or equity and keeping things fair, one of my core values is playing fair.

Rosie: So is it fair for me as a person with a vagina to ask a person with a penis to please put the fucking toilet seat down when you're done? Is that a fair ask? 

Roula: I don't think it's a fair ask. Mmm, why not? Why don't they think that we should pull it up for them? True. Who said it's fair and it's, um, , it's gender's opinion.

Roula: There are no rules. It's true. It is an 

Rosie: opinion. So how, how do we move forward here? What is the rule in your household at the moment? 

Roula: Um, I don't know if I can talk about it cause it's private. I [00:04:00] haven't consulted my husband if I can share his private moment. What I can tell you is that something resonated with me during COVID and I heard about it and while asking, I.

Roula: also got some feedback from a few people with their opinion on this topic. We agreed on one thing, and I hope that our human listeners will also think about it and let us know. During COVID, there was this thing that when you flush the toilet, it's safer to close the lid completely because a lot of bacteria comes out.

Roula: over the toilet when we flush. And I know that I asked my son because he's small, he's nine years old. I always ask him to close the lids before he flushes. So he protects himself from the water spattering on him. And then it made sense when I got an answer on this topic [00:05:00] saying that every human, , must close the lid before they flush and leave it closed.

Roula: And then it's like a light bubble. That's genius. 

Rosie: Then it's fair for both. Right? I think so. You can stand, you can sit, whatever you want, but everybody closes the lid. Not only is it fairer, but it's also more hygienic because you're not getting bacteria and germs. Splashed everywhere, which is a disgusting thought.

Rosie: I used 

Roula: splatter and this is a Dutch word. The right word is splash. 

Rosie: Splatter! I understood. Splatter is a word here. What did you say? Splatter. Splatter. 

Roula: Ah, splatter. I said splatter. Yeah. , I mean, why not Um, try to reduce these , insignificant discussions by a universal safe and hygienic solution. Mm.

Rosie: Right. Is it really worth having a huge [00:06:00] argument over? I hear couples have arguments about this. 

Roula: I have a friend. A long time ago I visited her, entered the toilet, and she had a big framed paper, all the rules how persons with penis should be used in the toilet. I myself felt very offended. I felt like, how dare you?

Roula: This is so offending to tell The other genders, how they have to use the toilet. Was she trying to be 

Rosie: funny? 

Roula: Was it a joke? Not a very funny one. Knowing that person, it wasn't really a joke. It was making a point. 

Rosie: Wow. 

Roula: You know, we talk about misogyny, but I think there are people out there who are terrified from man's routines.

Rosie: Yeah. Gosh, that is wild. But I, the [00:07:00] takeaway message for me here, not that I live with someone with a penis, but it seems fairer to get everybody to put down the toilet seat and the lid before they flush. And then, no dramas, if you sit down to go to the toilet, you lift up the lid. If you stand up to go to the toilet, you lift up both.

Rosie: And guess what? You put them both down when you flush. That is genius. Whoever said that deserves a gold star. They have my stamp of approval.