The Rosie and Roula Show

Do You Feel Guilty Doing Nothing?

• Roula Abou Haidar and Rosie Burrows

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The holidays are here, and if you’ve ever felt guilty for taking a break—or doing absolutely nothing—this episode is for you. In a world that glorifies hustle, Rosie and Roula remind us that slowing down isn’t lazy; it’s essential.

Join them as they explore why downtime makes us squirm, why boredom feels like failure, and how our culture has conditioned us to see rest as unproductive. This episode is packed with insights, laughs, and the occasional fizzy passionfruit soda.

In this fun and thought-provoking episode, you’ll hear about:

  • Why doing nothing often comes with a side of guilt
  • How history, culture, and productivity pressures shape our habits
  • The impact of constant busyness on our kids and family life
  • Mental health benefits of slowing down and embracing boredom
  • Some unexpected Dutch idioms that will stick with you

Take this as your holiday permission slip: pause, breathe, and enjoy some well-earned stillness.

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Roula (00:02)
Rosie, what are you drinking? It looks kind of interesting.

Rosie (00:07)
Wouldn't you like to know? Before I answer, withhold your judgment, please, because the other, there was an episode the other day and you accused me of being unhealthy because I had my chocolate milk and whatever else I have during, I was eating salami and you just getting at me. So just shut up.

Roula (00:09)
Yeah, I want to know.

know you hold

a grudge on me with that! My goodness! I will pay one day, I'm sure!

Rosie (00:27)
I don't forget these things. Words are powerful. Anyway, it is called,

it's called Pesito. I think it is, I think it's an Australian drink. Someone's probably going to prove me wrong, but it's basically passion fruit flavor, just fizzy soft drink. And it's sugar free, so you cannot judge me.

Roula (00:36)
PASITO

Yeah,

that's what they say. So what's the ingredient? What did they replace sugar with?

Rosie (00:58)
So the ingredients are purified water, natural flavor, food acid, natural- no you won't! You're so rude! It just says sweetness and it has a bunch of numbers. 950952955 and then it ends with preservatives. Sounds so helpful.

Roula (01:02)
No, no, no, no one wants to hear all the ingredients. Just tell me what did they replace the sugar with? Sweetness. This is so intriguing.

I'm going to call this number and see what they

answer. This is a phone number.

Rosie (01:26)
Come on, speed dial.

Roula (01:27)
They

replaced the sugar with a phone number.

Rosie (01:33)
You're about to give me a lecture about how sweeteners are actually really bad for us, but let's please don't, don't destroy my enjoyment right now.

Roula (01:37)
⁓ yeah I love

chocolate I can't live without chocolate so let's keep it this way

Rosie (01:43)
Mmm.

Roula (01:57)
I have a question for you today well we're still the same day recording because I'm still wearing the same clothes as the other four episodes you do here we go tell me Rosie why do we feel guilty when we do nothing

Rosie (01:59)
How surprising.

because we're conditioned to feel guilty. Think industrial revolution. We have been forced to go to school, work certain hours, do this, it's efficiency, you must do things one day of a week. And if you just have a lazy day.

Roula (02:35)
The sounds of patriarkik are kick, battery are she, battery, how? Yeah.

Rosie (02:38)
Patriotic, patriotic?

Or patriarchic-co-co? I don't know, whatever. No, not that word. Patri- yeah, it's not patriotic, it's patriarch- Patriarchal. Patriarchal, is that what it is?

Roula (02:45)
like a man saying all these things.

Yes,

yes. OK, OK, let's go back. Let's go back. So why do we feel guilty doing nothing? Because you're saying due to the Industrial Revolution, everyone has to pay to work, work very, very, very hard. Please continue.

Rosie (02:58)
Yes it is patriarchal.

Yeah, that's where school came

from and schools messed up, but that's, we ain't going there. This ex teacher has a chip on her shoulder. Feeling guilty when you do nothing though. Yeah, I've always felt guilty and I'm someone who likes doing nothing. People will ask me sometimes like, what are you doing this weekend? You can, well, see more judgment, more judgment, but people will ask me. I love doing nothing.

Roula (03:24)
can't make sense to this.

You feel guilty doing nothing, but you like doing nothing.

Rosie (03:33)
People will say me, Rosie, what are you doing on the weekend? And I'll go, ⁓ nothing. But that almost disappointed. Like you have to have plan. my God, Roula The camera resolution just got better and I can see how badly your skin is peeling.

Roula (03:43)
What? What's happening?

Is it

⁓ so embarrassing.

Rosie (03:56)
It's gone fuzzy

again, but there was like a moment of clarity. I was like, my God, I got distracted. But please go watch us on YouTube. Subscribe to us on there. We are quite funny to watch. It adds a whole other element.

Roula (04:03)
face. Yeah. ⁓

It's a totally different dimension. ⁓

Rosie (04:14)
Yeah, so Roula, feeling guilty when you're doing nothing. What are your thoughts?

Roula (04:16)
Yes.

Yes, I'm the one of those who feels guilty doing nothing. Yeah. And I learned, taught myself not to feel guilty, to appreciate it and actually plan nothing in my day. I can't say it always work. Most of the time doesn't. But I plan nothing in my day. I feel guilty because because we're supposed to be productive. And if I'm not doing something, I'm not productive.

Rosie (04:23)
Yeah.

Mm.

Why? Why do we think productivity

means doing things?

Roula (04:47)
This is how we learn because you know when when I used to work at an office product, if you're taking it easy, people think you're not working and then they're judging you.

Rosie (04:56)
If you're not

eating lunch at your desk and stressed and flapping around, yeah, that's messed up.

Roula (05:00)
Exactly, exactly. Then you're not doing

if you're if you're not answering emails in the evening felt like you're not being a good employee dedicated. Work have conditioned us so much. And then we brought this, I think, to my into our family. Like, I keep saying the word like.

Rosie (05:21)
Like.

Roula (05:24)
Our kids, we fill in their agenda in a way they don't have free time because we think the more they do, the better they will become. And luckily for me, I learned through the years, they need the me time. They need to do nothing sometimes, just get back into shape in their brain, be bored. Boredom is so important and we avoid boredom. We feel like losers if we're bored.

Rosie (05:29)
Yeah!

Yeah.

Reset.

Yeah, and

if we don't teach our kids how to spend time with themselves and be alone and just doing nothing, that's a disaster.

Roula (05:54)
We don't have a life.

most of us are, what are we teaching them actually? We're teaching them their agenda should be so full that they don't have time for themselves.

Rosie (06:04)
We went.

Yeah! Messed up! And then you burn out! Your mental health goes down the toilet, your health, physical health, your happiness... What are we doing?

Roula (06:22)
I

don't want to feel guilty doing nothing. I want to feel happy doing nothing. I'm going to really plan them. But you're not you're doing nothing anyway. So what are you going to work on, Rosie? No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. That's that's bad. That's so bad. ⁓ She's going to kill me now.

Rosie (06:25)
Good. Yeah, I'm still working on it.

Wow. Wow. Wow. What I need to work on is not feeling guilty

because it's, I start feeling guilty when I have to tell someone what I got up to today or when I think about what other people are going to think when I say, actually, I slept all day. Actually, I just watch movies all day. I did nothing.

Why do I have to be ashamed of that? often my time during daylight hours, often I'm not really doing much, but then nighttime I come alive.

But also having, spending time doing nothing, I think can help you be more productive anyway. Sounds counterintuitive, but if you're not having that downtime, how the heck are you gonna get your work done?

Roula (07:24)
Yes, downtime is really healthy. We must encourage downtown, downtown, downtown, downtown. I love the song. Let's encourage downtime and listen to downtown. How about that?

Rosie (07:29)
Downtown!

Love it.

Go chuck downtown on everybody. Have some downtime. Stop feeling so damn guilty. And if you're anal-like, Roula, plan it into your day. I think that's ridiculous having to plan it, instead of anal, Yeah. If you're pedantic, if you're a control freak,

Roula (07:57)
Can you use another expression? Yes.

In Dutch they say

Mieren neuker. It means wow. OK, this can this is don't let children hear what I'm saying. OK, Mieren, Mieren means ant. Yeah. Nöker means fucking.

Rosie (08:10)
What's that mean?

Ant. Okay.

So what? Don't... What? If you fuck ants, don't do... What?

Roula (08:35)
Like this

is anal in Dutch. This is is sick. This is really sick. Disgustingly sick.

Rosie (08:39)
and fucking what where do these sayings come from i shouldn't

say stop being anal like that's weird i'm using it in a negative way like i don't know that's that's odd that's not okay i take it back yeah if you're a little bit of a control freak like Roula

Roula (08:49)
Yeah, it's not nice. It's not being difficult. I don't know, something.

Rosie (08:59)
schedule it into your day. Or if you're like me and you have lots of downtime, embrace it. Don't feel guilty.

Roula (09:04)
during the day, because you don't

have downtime in the evening.

Rosie (09:08)
I mean, sometimes I do and I shouldn't feel guilty. You're judging me big time. You're jealous. Ooh. Maybe I need to give you some lessons. You're not going to like it because you'll just have to do nothing.

Roula (09:11)
I'm so jealous.

I'm up for it. All right. All right. Let's go. Well, but this episode is chaotic, but I think you learned a couple of things not only in language, but in Seeking time for yourself and listen to some nice songs. Bye

Rosie (09:22)
You're up for it.

And fucking

Downtown in particular.

I don't know the rest of the words.

Roula (09:42)
Me neither!

Rosie (09:48)
Huh.