The Rosie and Roula Show

213: Why We're Sick of Society's Expectations Around Weight and Body Image

• Roula Abou Haidar and Rosie Burrows

Share episode

The weight chat no one asked for but everyone seems to have an opinion on. From the Kate Moss era to the weird things people say about “the ideal body,” we dig into why weight still has such a chokehold on how we see ourselves. Is society actually shifting or are we kidding ourselves? We talk beauty standards, BMI nonsense, thin-shaming, fat-shaming, why scales are the worst invention ever, and why your organs matter more than your jeans size. It’s equal parts rant, reflection, and Roula shedding her skin like a tiny peeling snake.

Topics covered:

  • Why beauty standards haven’t changed as much as we think
  • The difference between health and weight
  • Why scales mess with your head
  • How society profits from insecurity
  • Why body shaming goes both ways now

Do you reckon we’re overreacting about body standards or do you feel it too?

--------------------

--------------------

--------------------

Roula (00:00)
Does height matter? I don't feel like I have anything to add to this one. Do we have something similar, not height, but something else?

weight, like we all want to be thin but some people love heavy weighted people. Like who says that everyone likes you know something like this about the weight instead of the height.

Rosie (00:25)
weight.

Right, we're talking about weight. So just a heads up listeners, if this is a triggering topic for you, come back to the next one, because that's what we're talking about and what we say goes.

Now, what are your thoughts on weight, Roula? Because there are a lot of opinions out there and I think you need to stop picking your peeling skin. Listeners, you need to go on YouTube. Roula had a...

Roula (00:58)
Okay.

Rosie (01:04)
What are they called? Is it a chemical peel? Yeah. And her, her facial skin is peeling and she's sitting there while I'm talking, just picking at it. So distracting. She's like a snake shedding her skin. No, back to white though, because I think public opinion has shifted over the years when I was growing up. Like if I think of Kate Moss, the Kate Moss era, you know, very thin. And that was the body image that.

Roula (01:06)
Yeah.

Rosie (01:34)
women aspired to, or at least that was the mainstream portrayal of what beauty looked like. But I think it's shifting.

Roula (01:43)
not as much as we hope so, the shift, because there is still, I don't know, I don't know why everybody have to look in a certain way, thin, boobless, buttless, hipless. So you have to be very thin. I remember a saying in Lebanon when older people or people, they were older than me, of course, talking about a

Rosie (01:46)
Hmm, okay.

Roula (02:11)
girl or a woman they say she's so beautiful if you put the ring it will slide down to her feet

Rosie (02:18)
what a weird thing to say.

Roula (02:20)
That was that was back

in the 80s. So the standards of being thin has always been there, in my opinion. At least from as long as I remember, I don't know in the past centuries, but we are people from different parts of the world and we have no control over how our body looks like. Because we are born born with certain DNA, certain culture.

And why do we all have to look? Even if we go to buy our clothes. You have to go to special shop if you have larger hips. This is not ⁓ like a rug body matter. This is a natural butties. Look.

Rosie (02:57)
Hmm

Yeah, like it's, it's so, it's

just so loaded this topic, I feel. I think we do have control over how our bodies look to a degree. And like you say, there's so much that is out of our control. And why do we feel shame when our body doesn't look a certain way? I think we have all been in that position. I'm sure Roula, you can look back on times of your life. Yeah.

Roula (03:17)
you

Of course! Still!

Rosie (03:37)
Yes, same.

Roula (03:38)
Still!

Rosie (03:42)
⁓ I don't even have the words, but I think what's beginning to happen more and more is there's body shaming towards people who are naturally thin. And I don't think that's right either because it used to be the dominant narrative was body shaming larger people. And now it's almost gone the other way.

Roula (04:01)
she's anorexic or I don't know what.

Rosie (04:03)
⁓

fuck. That's, yes, that is something people say a lot and I don't like that. Maybe they are anorexic, I don't know, but what a... That's a diagnosis. We do, like, why are we throwing those words around?

What's our message here, Roula I don't even know what our message is. It annoys me. How much?

Roula (04:25)
We

are fed up, you and I, from having the weight and the body of a person being determined as a standard of beauty. Also, yes, of course, for health issues and keep our health, we have to look after our body. But this doesn't mean that we all have to be thin. You know what I mean?

Rosie (04:38)
⁓ yes!

Roula (04:53)
You can have a normal weight health. Exactly. Yes.

Rosie (04:54)
Yeah, health can look many different ways. Yes, yes, a healthy

person is not one thing. And I actually think the medical field is partially to blame for this. hyper-focus on BMI, your body mass index, which by the way is a load of shit. Actually, I don't even want to go there. You know what, everybody? Try to look in the mirror and be kind to yourself rather than going, I don't like how that looks, or I'm just...

too fat here or some people I'm too thin here or I'm trying to put on weight or I'm trying to lose weight why can't I ever do it? Our bodies are so precious let's just I don't know what can we do Roula? How do we...

Roula (05:36)
Eat healthy and exercise. No, no, because this is not about the weight. This is about our organs to be healthy. I do believe, Rosie, that we need to eat healthy and we need to exercise. This will keep us healthy on the long term for our sugar, diabetes, for our heart, for our brain, for our liver. There are so many things in our body that will reflect

Rosie (05:39)
you're boring. Really? Really?

Mmm.

Roula (06:06)
how we look from what we're getting into our body. This is one thing, but I'm not saying deprive yourself from the lovely pleasurable food. I'm saying be conscious about what you eat and exercise and stop standing on the scale because that is ruining our motivation.

Rosie (06:14)
Yeah, I love food.

⁓

yeah, scales are dangerous, I think. And you know, my initial reaction when you said eat healthy and exercise, went, because I think that's something that a lot of medical professions or professionals say, but they say it because they want you to lose weight. But what you're saying is focus on these things so that basically so that your body lasts longer.

Roula (06:51)
Yeah, like I

don't want my my visceral fat to be high because this will cause me issues with my heart, issues with my blood pressure. I want to eat healthy, not to lose weight. I want to eat healthy to protect my body from poison.

Rosie (06:59)
Right.

True, yes, I think that's an important reframe because we might be living longer but what is our quality of life like? I don't want to be 85 years old but being kept alive with whatever medicines but I'm miserable. If my quality of life is shit then I don't see the point in living longer. So yeah, let's try and look after our bodies. They deserve it, we deserve it.

Roula (07:34)
Yes, look after our bodies and forget about the weight unless the weight is causing us health issues.

Rosie (07:38)
Fuck the weight.

Fuck the weight. Is that our message? Fuck it.

Roula (07:41)
Yeah, mean,

the beauty is that, did you know what, Rosy, not everybody like ⁓ one type of body. All these people in the world, they all have different kinds of liking, get different kinds of body image that they like. But the news, social media, marketing, selling products, it's all focused on one body type.

Rosie (07:50)
Hmm.

Roula (08:10)
And if a company has an ad with different body types in it, it's seen as, wow, they're so inclusive. No, they're not. This will only get them more money. They try with it because now they're playing on body types. But the norm is I want to see on the catwalk other looking girl than just the really... Yeah, I mean, short people.

Rosie (08:19)
It should be the norm.

People who look like me. I want to see people who look like me.

People who look like you. Right, why do runway models have to be tall and thin? Right, what is that about? That's ridiculous. We've got lots of short people in the world. Yeah. Yes.

Roula (08:40)
There are no short people! Yeah!

You talked in the beginning about Kate Moss and there was

always in the news that she's the smallest among the top models. I am small. I don't qualify to become a top model. And it's like, it's like this job is not to my standards. I'm not to their standards because I'm not 170, 180. This is not fair.

Rosie (08:53)
Really?

All right,

your self-worth is being predetermined by your physical attributes. What a load of hogwash.

Roula (09:17)
Yeah, ⁓ it's not fair. It's really not fair. And ⁓ I don't know what the message here. We're just being upset that body, determine, worth, value, even your right to be in a certain job.

Rosie (09:19)
Hmm.

Yeah

Right, and this might sound a little bit silly, maybe cliche, you might judge me, but why does fat have a negative connotation if you call someone fat? Like we call someone thin and it is considered a compliment.

Roula (09:54)
compliment.

Yeah. Fat ass. I love fat ass. They're so attractive.

Rosie (09:58)
Sart.

Yeah.

Listener, I want you to drop a comment. If you are on YouTube, I want you to scroll to the comments right now and tell us. What are they telling us? I don't know Roula, what are they telling us? Quick.

Roula (10:15)
You took me by surprise with this question. Okay, drop to the comment and just tell us, are we exaggerating by being upset about this topic or do you feel the same?

Rosie (10:28)
Yeah, how do you feel about it? Let us know in the comments. You can comment on YouTube, can bloody comment on Spotify or go to the website. You can send a voice message, you can type a message, just bloody do it. And buy us a coffee because that makes us really happy. See you in the next one.

Roula (10:42)
Ha!