The Rosie and Roula Show

207: Botox, Grey Hair & Why Aging Shouldn’t Scare Us Anymore

• Roula Abou Haidar and Rosie Burrows

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In this raw and surprisingly emotional episode of The Rosie & Roula Show, we revisit two of our most popular topics ever — Botox and grey hair — through a completely new lens.

Roula reveals a huge personal shift: after years of Botox and a deep fear of aging, she suddenly stopped…and didn’t know why. Today, she shares the realization that changed everything.

Rosie opens up about society’s obsession with youth, why aging shame hits women harder, and why she finds silver hair “mesmerizing.” Together, they explore identity, authenticity, beauty standards, and why aging brings freedom, not fear.

In this episode:

Why Roula stopped Botox after 1.5 years — and the emotional reason she didn’t expect

The myth that “you don’t look your age” is a compliment

Youth vs. aging: why women get shame and men get “silver fox”

Grey hair as liberation

Botox as personal choice — not morality

How aging exposes your true identity

Why women need new role models in their 40s, 50s, 60s+

Fear of aging vs. fear of dying — and the difference

The pressure to stay young for “worthiness”

Referenced episodes:

Episode 11 — Botox - Is it For Vanity or Wellbeing?

Episode 20 — Grey Hair, Don't Care Or Is It Deeper?

Takeaway:

Aging isn’t something to fight — it’s something to understand, accept, and even celebrate. And Botox? Totally personal. No shame either way.

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Roula (00:04)
the ones watching us on YouTube. Can you frown? Show me how what happens when you frown. Okay, okay. So it's because I used to have Botox in my forehead and above my eyes and I haven't for almost a year and a half, maybe two years.

Rosie (00:13)
Why?

Yeah.

I thought you were going to

say something amazing like 10 years. No, a year and a half. Seriously.

Roula (00:29)
No, I

only started a years ago. So, yeah, I haven't. And we did an episode about Botox. You have the episode number, I think, with you. Yeah.

Rosie (00:34)
You

Well, I better find it. You're putting bloody pressure on me here. I didn't look it

Yeah, so we've been going back, looking at our most popular episodes as part of our kind of mission to give you more of what you want. And this was one of the popular ones, episode 11, is Botox for vanity or wellbeing. So go listen to that if you haven't. But we thought we would revisit it because we always have more things to say, don't we, Rola?

Roula (01:12)
Yeah.

new insight, new things. Nothing is... I like when things change. I like the change. And revisiting an episode, I know I might contradict myself with what I said before, but hey, I'm not the same person as one year ago.

Rosie (01:28)
Mmm.

That's part of the beauty. Yeah, this is true.

And I remember going into that episode, because I have quite a negative view of Botox, and you opened my eyes. I was like, yes, there were vanity reasons for getting it, but also well-being reasons. You were saying you were trying it ⁓ because of migraines you were getting and you had heard that Botox could help. And I went, never bloody thought of that.

Roula (02:03)
And the conclusion was it didn't really help, right? As we remember.

Rosie (02:05)
It's bullshit, yes it did now.

And you continued to do it anyway.

Roula (02:11)
I like the look of it. But now... Okay, I don't know if it has to do with me. I was so scared of getting old. In my mid-forties, I was terrified of getting older because I had this impression that I will hit 50...

Rosie (02:28)
Yes.

Roula (02:40)
and my life would be over. My sex appeal would be over. My future, my happiness, my body, everything would be over. So I was terrified. And when I did the Botox for my migraine, I thought, ⁓ this works for me. I don't have to be scared that my face is getting older.

Rosie (02:45)
Yeah.

Roula (03:04)
Fast forward, now I'm 51, I'll be in January 52, I'm craving to see the wrinkles around my face.

I want to see who am I going to be towards my 60.

Rosie (03:25)
Yeah, wow.

Roula (03:29)
Okay, let's take a pause because.

Rosie (03:31)
Okay.

Roula (03:33)
because I didn't do Botox for a year and a half.

And I didn't know why until I recently realized I understood that I'm not scared of aging anymore.

Rosie (03:53)
so big reason you were getting it is because you were scared of aging and what that would look like. Yeah.

Roula (04:01)
Yes.

Rosie (04:04)
How liberating though for you to be in a place that's like, yeah, I want to get older. I want to see it. I want to see who I am. I think a lot of people don't ever get to that frame of mind. And then it's kind of sad. ⁓

Roula (04:12)
Yes.

You know, when I look into magazines, probably I mentioned this before because this is something I mentioned very often. Pinterest, Instagram, magazines. I do not look backward. So I don't look at stuff where young models or if there is an ad for a face cream, I don't give a shit because this girl is in her twenties and giving me an ad for anti-aging. fuck off.

Rosie (04:48)
you

Roula (04:49)
You know, I look forward. So I searched for women who are in my age and who look natural. Well, I mean, I did buttocks and I still look natural because I didn't overdo it. But women at my age who are trying to promote being in your 50s in a positive way without all the shit. I want they give me hope.

Rosie (05:03)
Yeah.

Yes. Yes!

Roula (05:19)
They give me so much hope that I don't have to be scared of aging. Well, I am scared of aging for other reasons, very much other different reasons. Like, for example, I'm so scared to die and miss out on my children's life. Excuse me. Do I want to stay awake in bed because of this thought?

Rosie (05:26)
Different reasons, yeah.

Yeah.

I'm more scared about the end of life care. What's going to happen to me? I don't want to end up in an aged care home. That's what scares me about aging. But yeah, anyway, Botox thing. Let's, yeah. And I think, I think you might've had an episode. was it? Okay. Well, maybe not next one. I don't know. You do. So we will link that. Talking about caring for parents, I think, isn't it? And sort of planning.

Roula (05:53)
That's such a valid thing. Yeah, we will talk about this in the next episode.

I do have an episode on my podcast.

Yeah, I put it in our sheet. I put it.

Rosie (06:09)
my dog is being annoying. ⁓

Roula (06:14)
So to go back to Botox,

Rosie (06:17)
Yes, sorry,

I wanna touch on aging because this conversation seems to be centering very much around aging. That's kind of where your journey started, which you didn't so much share in the initial episode from memory. So this is a big realization, I think, and it shits me off how much shame there is around aging.

Especially for women, like not wanting to share their age. I just turned 40. I don't want to talk about my age. Or lying to their kids about their age. And like you said, all these anti-aging creams. Who the hell came up with the notion that wrinkles are ugly, that gray hair is ugly, that becoming forgetful or whatever else might come with old age is a bad thing?

Roula (07:04)
have a little bit of a belly.

Rosie (07:06)
or a of a belly or your boobs change shape or anything.

Roula (07:13)
about the boobs we're gonna do another episode about it. With a pin in it, yes. ⁓ It kills me.

Rosie (07:13)
How about ⁓

Roula (07:23)
Excuse me. It kills me when I say my age and people tells me, ⁓ you don't look your age.

Rosie (07:31)
You don't look 50.

Yeah. It's meant to be a compliment, isn't it?

Roula (07:37)
Stop this stupid fucking compliment. Do not. Do not say to someone when they say their age, you don't look your age, but also when someone says their age, don't compare it to yourself.

You know, for example, recently I said my age to someone who's in her 40s and she started telling me how older she looks than I am.

Rosie (08:01)
Mm-hmm.

Roula (08:10)
Well guess what?

Rosie (08:11)
because that's

what's most important. Buh.

Roula (08:14)
Exactly. Guess what? I don't have little children keeping me awake at night. She does. And she doesn't think that this is harsh. Give yourself some time, some grace. And I was a wreck when my children were little. I'm in a different life, in a different phase of my life. So when younger people in their 30s and 40s compare themselves to someone in their 50s who are looking good,

They need to stop and realize we are in different phases of our lives.

Rosie (08:53)
⁓ Why do we think it's a compliment to say, you don't look that old, you're looking great for your age, you look like you're 40.

Roula (09:02)
Because everybody, we all want to look younger because younger is more attractive, more sexually active, more like you have a future in front of you. This is how we associate youth with.

Rosie (09:04)
to look young.

Mmm.

This is true. I think we're slowly breaking that stereotype. Have you seen the show Grace and Frankie? my god, it's hilarious. I'm in love with it. And part of what I love about it is it shows that just because you're old doesn't mean you can't have fun. Like, the things they get up to are outrageous. It is so funny. I love it. And it's just, usually these shows are young people.

Roula (09:25)
I love it. I loved it.

They show on Grace and Frankie, you see them as this is who they are. And when they gottten an older, they get back to their authentic self with all their shit and good stuff. So if someone like, for example, if some Frankie, yes, Frankie, she she's an alternative person. She's very much into environment. She likes to smoke weed.

Rosie (09:55)
Mmm.

Yeah

Yes.

Roula (10:16)
She's very cool and open-minded. She's been like this all her life. She was only able to go back to herself when she turned older, 50, 60, and grace the same thing. So they're reflecting the reality. I want to touch on something, Rosie. When a man says his age, mostly you hear, he looks so good. It suits him.

Salt and pepper is suiting him. But when a woman is salt and pepper, they tell her, why don't you go and color your hair? Why are you leaving it grey

Rosie (10:52)
I saw a post Roula I think it was last night. This woman, you know you're on Facebook and random posts come up. This woman, ⁓ she must have been growing out her grey. So she had maybe 10 centimeters of solid grey from the roots down and the rest was dark brown. And she was asking for help, like you know, I'm trying to decide if I want to put streaks in to help blend it as I grow it out and da da. So many women were going, the grey ages you, just get rid of it, it ages you.

So age is a bad thing? Because she was, I think she was in her 40s so people in the comments were like, you're too young for grey hair, that ages you, It just pissed me off, yeah.

Roula (11:36)
It's sad. And you know,

the ladies, the famous ladies that should promote age, they're the one going under the knife and a botox and a filler. And they are the one who are accepting what Hollywood, for example, is giving them and projecting this on younger people. Even I see from my daughters, there are movies or some things on social media promoting these things already.

It's like if you don't look like a Barbie doll.

You are not a human being. A dis- or like a deserving human being.

Rosie (12:19)
It's crazy to me.

Roula (12:22)
Luckily, this narrative is changing. More women are leaving their hair gray. Just like me, more women decided not to do Botox anymore. Let's revisit this in two years. And really, like, we need to stop scared of being of aging, though. Rosie. We must take care of ourselves while we're aging, because.

Rosie (12:26)
Yeah.

You

Roula (12:51)
Before our 40s or 45, our body took care of us. But after this age, we have to take care of our body. So what we eat, how we exercise, the things we, it matters more. And sitting on the couch having a bag of chips while watching TV and feeling so awful because we're not feeling good about ourselves, this doesn't help.

Rosie (13:04)
It matters even more.

That'd be me. ⁓

Yeah, back to something more light-hearted. don't want to think about it. Yeah, I don't want to talk about it. Let me have my bag of chips.

Roula (13:21)
You're in your 30s. No, no, you're

in your 30s. You can't afford to have bag of chips and sit in front of the TV. You can't when you're 50.

Rosie (13:30)
Maybe, maybe. But let's go...

Damn it. Let's go back to the grey hair thing. Because I have always thought grey hair is just... It's like... What is it? I can't think of the word, it's not mesmerizing, but it's just like, I find it fascinating. I remember when I was in... Must have been year three? Two or three? This boy...

boy's mum dropped him off, she had grey hair like yours, like you've still got some darker hair, right? Hers was just like full silver and it was natural. And I just remember looking going, whoa, that is so cool. But I...

Weirdo. Not many people think that. I still think it's cool. In fact, I would love to have dye my hair grey. Dye it grey. ⁓

Roula (14:27)
do it. More and more I'm finding it beautiful. More and more women are leaving their hair gray, very insecure in the beginning and very much appreciative later. Yeah, it's a journey. Having gray hair is a journey. The thing is having buttocks, doesn't, it depends how we have it. If it's a little bit, it doesn't change your feature. You're still the same person. When

Rosie (14:30)
Yeah.

Yes.

Mmm.

Roula (14:57)
When these excessive youth actions, activities are excessive and we start looking at our face and not seeing similarity with our picture from last year, that worries me.

is you're kind of losing your identity, but at the same time you think this is what makes you happy. And I cannot speak for others because probably this is what makes them happy. And gray hair is just a liberation, is freedom, is freedom.

Rosie (15:26)
be.

Cause I'm trying to remember your hair when we first met. You didn't have as much grey. And I don't know if it's cause it just hadn't all grown or if you hadn't yet fully started to let it grow out. I can't remember. I'm gonna have to go back and find some photos of when we first met.

Roula (15:49)
I I have started, it was just when it started getting gray, but it wasn't this much gray.

Rosie (15:51)
started yeah

no yeah and it looks so soft though Rula your hair looks so soft your hair looks so soft i swear because i remember mum would get so frustrated like she embraced her gray and would have it she'd have like highlights that would it would be gray and she had dark hair but then she'd have like i don't know it was cool i thought it was very cool and she embraced it more and more

Roula (15:56)
Yeah, so from Botox, sorry.

Hmm, sounds beautiful. I would love to see a picture.

Rosie (16:21)
But I know some of her gray hair was like really thick and wiry and it would annoy her. But yours looks, not all of it, God I feel guilty now saying that, her hair was beautiful. But yours on camera looks so smooth, soft, silky, yeah.

Roula (16:21)
Yeah.

It is smooth, but I have to style

it because my hair quality, gray or not gray, is not the best. So it doesn't have to do with gray. The thing is, we have to mention the episode about gray hair because we also made an episode about gray hair. Yes. So in combination with this new insight, we still love gray hair as a conclusion to our episode, episode 20. We will put it in the show notes.

Rosie (16:42)
Yeah.

Did we? Yes.

Episode 20.

Roula (17:03)
⁓ Grey hair, yes, go for it if you love it. You will love it, you will love it. It's scary but you will love it. Botox is so personal and as I said, Rosie, maybe you in a few years will tell me, shit, Rula, I want to have Botox on my forehead. Never say never to things. We change and our needs also change.

Rosie (17:23)
True, true.

Yeah. So what's our conclusion on Botox? It's personal and Rula no longer gets it because she's realised the true reason she got it, or you got it, why am I saying she, is you were scared of ageing and now you've gone fuck that. Yeah.

Roula (17:41)
Yeah, I can't wait to

see my wrinkles. ⁓ I have them, but see them more. Thank you for listening.

Rosie (17:50)
Yeah.