The Rosie and Roula Show

160: The New Cigarette: Are Phones Ruining Live Events?

• Roula Abou Haidar and Rosie Burrows

Share episode

Roula shares how the sea of glowing screens at a recent show made her stomach turn, Rosie admits she hasn’t been to a concert in almost a decade (and would probably lose her mind now), and together we explore whether banning phones from concerts, theatres, and even restaurants might actually make life better.

This episode also spirals into Roula’s dream of opening a no-phone café, Rosie’s struggle with being offline at a campsite, and why we’re starting to think phones are the new cigarette—an addiction that’s everywhere, all the time.

Topics covered:

  • The frustration of watching a concert through someone else’s screen
  • Why documenting moments can stop us from living them
  • The comparison between phone use and cigarette addiction
  • Roula’s no-phone café dream
  • How being present is harder than ever in a digital world

Could you actually handle locking your phone away at a concert or café?

Key Topics & Highlights:

  • The distraction of phones at concerts (02:22)
  • Experiencing life vs documenting life (01:20)
  • Phone addiction and modern social etiquette (07:18)
  • Creative ideas for phone-free restaurants and spaces (10:36)
  • Tips for being present and mindful without your phone (12:01)

 phone-free concerts, phone addiction, mindfulness, live events, being present, screen-free experiences, phone etiquette, digital detox, Rosie & Roula podcast

--------------------

--------------------

--------------------

Rosie (00:00)
RULA!

Roula (00:02)
Rosie!

Rosie (00:04)
excited to talk about this because I know we're both going to have really strong opinions. And you put it on our shared note app where we just chuck down our ideas as they come to us. And as soon as I saw it, I went, my God, yes. So here it is. Should we ban phones from concerts?

Roula (00:37)
we should ban phones more and more from so many places. From concerts, from movie theaters, maybe from few restaurants, from our bedroom, from our toilet.

How many people go to toilet dragging their phone with them? Moi. But specifically banned phones from concerts. Can you tell me why? Why should we ban phones from concerts?

Rosie (00:57)
Yeah, I do. Yeah, I do.

Why what?

I haven't given you my opinion yet.

Roula (01:15)
Hit me with it. With your opinion.

Rosie (01:20)
⁓ I don't think I have a yes or no answer. I don't have a yes or no answer. What I would say is I'm becoming more and more conscious of the fact that having my phone with me and trying to document a moment is making me be less present in that moment. I am focusing on having something to share with others or be able to look back on.

Roula (01:48)
Excuse

Rosie (01:49)
Rather

Roula (01:49)
me.

Rosie (01:50)
than soaking in the moment, I am experiencing the sunset or the concert or the whatever through my phone.

Cause I'm looking at my phone to record it rather than just enjoying. However, I like to have a photo or a video to look back on. It can help transport me to that moment. So is banning it the answer? Maybe, but how then do we get a photo?

Roula (02:22)
That's a good one. Okay, so recently I've been to two concerts and I have been so annoyed by all the screens in front of me that I couldn't see the show and the flickering lights of the whole show in the screen of the people in front of me that I thought I can't see anything. I'm watching the show through those these phones.

Rosie (02:33)
Yes.

Wow.

Yeah, fuck off. Yeah.

Wow.

Roula (02:52)
And it drove me crazy. It drove me totally crazy. I OK, what people don't know about me is that sometimes when something annoys me, I really feel sick to my stomach. It's just enough. And that feeling I had at the concert, just enough. I cannot watch everybody with their phones like this. I yeah.

Rosie (02:54)
Mmm.

Yeah.

That would piss me off

too, I actually haven't been to a concert since.

Roula (03:23)
in 2025.

Rosie (03:25)
fuck.

I think the last concert I went to was Ed Sheeran and I think it was in 2015 or 16. So almost 10 years ago. And I think there would be more phones at concerts now. I had my camera on me, not my phone, my camera. And I did take some photos, but I wasn't there with my phone the whole time doing these ones.

But there were some people there doing it.

Roula (03:55)
⁓

Imagine, I didn't even think about, let's take a camera instead of a phone. Let's all buy cameras again.

Rosie (04:04)
But what if everybody's holding up their camera the whole time?

Roula (04:07)
Yeah but the camera is not like full, you don't like film with this camera all the time. You just take a picture, you put it down.

Rosie (04:12)
Well, you might.

No, but there's video cameras. I don't know if it would solve it. I'm not so sure. Maybe, maybe we just chuck all these people who want to be on their phones, they can have their own section. They're the cretins over there. Go over there and you be in your miserable little whatever. Off you go. And if the security guards see you pull out a phone in the other section, no, get out. To the naughty corner.

Roula (04:29)
Yes!

Okay,

I'm now being also myself a bad phone user at concerts because I do make films. And then after each concert, my husband and I, we made a whole movie of the concert so that we can look back at it later. think I only realized how, but probably the people around me weren't bothered that I'm filming. I got bothered.

Rosie (04:54)
Mmm... Mmm...

Roula (05:06)
You know, there are so many people in the world, not everyone has the same feelings and sensation and annoyance.

Rosie (05:10)
Believe it or not.

Roula (05:13)
And I only realized how annoying it is to hold the phone at a concert when a lot of people in front of me were filming. And the second thing is that the person performing, the interaction with the people is also less because they're so distracted by following them with the camera and filming them. Is this really?

Rosie (05:36)
yeah, how can you be fully

present when you're doing that?

think it's a tricky one because I like to have some photos and videos, but I am trying to be more mindful to spend less time documenting. You don't have to be doing that the whole time. You can get a nice photo, a quick little video and still be present and be aware.

of the other people around you. Like if there are so many people holding up their phones so high that it is impacting your experience at the concert. Wow. That's awful. Yeah.

Roula (06:15)
Yeah. And

you know what you said, we're not in the moment. We're not absorbing. Our brain is not registering. Our phone is registering. And we are not immersing ourselves in the experiences anymore because of the phone. So how about movie theater, theaters in general?

Rosie (06:24)
Mm. It's never going to be the same.

Who has, you can't have

a mobile in a movie theater.

Roula (06:37)
Yeah, you can, but it has to be on silent. And you're not allowed to take pictures. So why the heck do we take it with us?

Rosie (06:40)
Yeah. No. okay. Okay. I see what you mean.

Yeah. It shits me actually, when people are sitting there on their phone texting. I've had people do it during the movie. Like what the f... Like what? And I remember I went to a play, it was Matilda in New York and there was somebody texting during the play. And you know, in the theater it's dark other than the stage and this bright light was so annoying.

Roula (06:51)
Yeah, lot of people are doing it.

Rosie (07:07)
And the security guard kept going up to this person's and put your phone away and they just wouldn't. It was like, it pissed me off a lot.

Roula (07:17)
Yeah.

Rosie (07:18)
so yeah, come on people. Do we have so little self control? Are we so addicted that we can't just put our phone away for a couple of hours for a movie or a play? Come on. We are addicted. Yeah. I am addicted. I will put my hand up. Absolutely.

Roula (07:24)
Yeah, we are.

We are.

It's the new cigarette addiction.

you know in the past lot of people were addicted to cigarettes.

I don't know how it is in Australia, but here in the Netherlands it's banned, so you rarely see people smoking. In the past, it was a category addicted to cigarettes. Now we're all addicted to our phones and our children too. So imagine our kids started smoking when they were 10 years old. And because I was a smoker, it makes sense to me to compare it to smoking.

Rosie (07:52)
Right.

Right, right.

Roula (08:07)
Someone who didn't smoke like you probably didn't smoke Rosie You would not feel the connection with the and believe me Rosie Addiction to cigarettes is like the phone every five minutes. You want to go out and have a smoke and Every five minutes we pick up the phone to look at it

Rosie (08:11)
No.

Mmm, mmm.

scares me when I stop to think about it. I spend a lot of time on my phone and that's not out of necessity. If I say that to you, go, you're full of shit. the other week I ⁓ pulled up at a camping spot that had no phone reception. So there's no internet, nothing.

Roula (08:35)
No, boredom.

Rosie (08:49)
And I just went, my God, what am I meant to do? had so much trouble. I was there for two nights. So what, what, what did I used to do when I didn't have a phone? And I had to really find something to do. So learn to just sit in front of the campfire and enjoy looking at it and sitting with my thoughts. And then I did a couple of word searches and I did some Sudoku and.

yeah, it was kind of confronting. really struggled. And as soon as I got into reception, I was messaging people.

Roula (09:26)
Yeah, the most time I'm on my phone is listening to podcasts and books. I ordered five books paper books because I listened to a lot of books, but now I have paper books and I started reading. It's, it takes my mind away so much from having the phone and scrolling.

Rosie (09:36)
Mmm.

Hmm.

Roula (09:48)
But

reading again is not for everyone. So if you don't like reading, it's going to be tough.

Rosie (09:51)
That's true.

I feel like your example is not the best example though, because listening to a podcast or an audiobook, you're not actually on your phone.

Roula (09:57)
no.

⁓ Yeah, that's true, but it's with me everywhere I go. It's like I walk and my phone is with me everywhere. It's in my brain. No, I sleep with my husband next to me.

Rosie (10:01)
You're not looking at it.

You're just listening. True.

In your bra, on your head, up your bum. I sleep with my phone next to me. Like, wow.

Where are your phones?

Roula (10:27)
Rosie, okay, we don't have an answer. Sir? ⁓ I'm on the nightstand.

Rosie (10:28)
No, no, where are your phones when you go to bed?

So they're next to you.

Roula (10:36)
Yeah. But on silent and on, okay, this becoming a phone conversation, but actually we started to be banned phone from places. My dream is to open a restaurant where no phones, no laptops are allowed.

Rosie (10:37)
Yes.

think there's an easy answer.

⁓ Ruler.

Yes. Happening. What are you going to call your restaurant? I feel like I've asked you this. You don't know? ⁓ I like this dream.

Roula (10:54)
I don't know. I don't know. No, I don't have an idea yet.

But this is my dream to have a restaurant, ⁓ like not a restaurant, more of a lunch room, because I don't want to work in the evening. A lunch room and no one is allowed to. Yeah. Yeah. And then when you enter, you put in the locker your electronics. And then and maybe I would have some, you know, these these couple of.

Rosie (11:03)
No phones.

lunch room.

Like a cafe or? Okay, okay, yeah.

So controversial, I love this!

Roula (11:24)
play machines, corner to chat, to play games, board games.

Rosie (11:26)
Yeah, some board games, bookshelves.

Roula (11:30)
Yeah. And like sometimes

Rosie (11:31)
Love this. Wow. Love that dream.

Roula (11:34)
at noon when people come to lunch, I'll have someone reading a book with a microphone. You know, in all days, they used to gather and someone would read. I don't know in Europe, but in the Arabic historical stories that this is how people educated themselves. So someone who can read with everybody goes around them and then they would read for them.

Rosie (11:39)
Mmm, with a microphone.

I don't know.

Roula (12:01)
And can you imagine reading out of a book for physical people there having lunch? I just have to figure out how to reduce the noise of the people eating and someone reading.

Mm.

Rosie (12:14)
want this dream to happen. love it. So many noisy cars around this afternoon. Okay, fine. Fine. My final message for people, please try to be more present. I can't stand here and preach. Don't go on your phone.

Roula (12:18)
Yeah, but we have to wrap up anyway, please. All right.

Rosie (12:33)
because it might not be realistic. Try and be more present and conscious of when you use it and the impact it is having on not only your life, but the lives of those around you.

Roula (12:42)
And don't be an arse if someone said, please, can you turn off your phone at the movie theater? Don't get aggressive and defensive and think, ⁓ who are you to tell me to turn off my phone? It might be Arula who's telling you that.

Rosie (12:57)
Or someone might say, why

are you telling someone to turn their phone off? Why does it trigger you so much? Someone might say that. And then you can't get aggressive.

Roula (13:09)
If someone asked me if in the movie theater, why it's triggering me that someone has the phone.

Rosie (13:15)
Yeah. They'll say, keep your opinion to yourself. Why are you telling them to turn their phone off? What's it to you?

Roula (13:20)
Yeah,

but that's why they need to have a rule that people put their phone in lockers so that people don't go just arguing about that in a movie theater.

Rosie (13:29)
I feel like this is almost taking away your freedom though, but I get it. I do get it, but I'm not sure I like it.

Roula (13:35)
Yeah, but if we abuse our freedom... then...

Rosie (13:38)
then it's taken away.

Roula (13:40)
Everything has to be with certain level of acceptance, thinking, whatever. All right, listeners, thank you so much for listening to this episode. We don't want to turn a drama. Bye.

Rosie (13:47)
Bye!