The Rosie and Roula Show

149: Lovemaking and Fucking - Listener Responses to Episode 114

• Roula Abou Haidar and Rosie Burrows

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This episode is all about a comment that stopped us in our tracks. One of our listeners responded to our chat about “making love vs fucking” — and honestly, she said it better than we ever could.

We dive into her words, unpack why they hit so deep, and reflect on how tenderness, hunger, softness, and raw craving all blur together. It’s not about what you call it — it’s about how it feels.

Topics covered:

  • Lovemaking vs fucking: two sides of the same coin
  • Why “fucking” doesn’t always mean empty or cold
  • How tenderness and hunger can live in the same space
  • The power of listener reflections in shifting perspective

Related Episodes

114: Making Love vs Fucking vs Having Sex. What's the Difference?


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Rosie (00:00)
we got a message from a listener about our episode that talked about making love and do think we should read it out because I think it was a really good comment. What do you reckon? Let's share it.

Roula (00:08)
Yeah.

Yes, and we will link

the episode in the show notes.

Rosie (00:19)
Of course,

of course. Do you have the... I didn't really plan this. Do you have the comment with you?

Open up Instagram. Go follow Rosie and Roula on Instagram and Roula herself. ⁓

find the episode we will edit out all my random talking

So the comment, it was a good one, is from calfbear. So the comment starts, is there a difference between lovemaking and fucking? So that was the focus of the episode.

People love to romanticise the idea of making love. Like it's all soft sheets, slow hands, whispered words. And sure, can be that, but honestly, to me, the phrase making love just sounds corny, a bit theatrical. It feels like something out of a romance novel, not real life. On the other hand, people often treat the word fucking like it's empty, cold, emotionless, all about the act. But I don't see it that way.

way. It's full of emotion, just not always the tender kind. Sometimes it's about craving someone so much that it pulls something fierce out of you. That's not heartless, that's human. To me, things can start out as what people would call lovemaking. Soft, careful, connected. But that can shift. And when it does, it doesn't lose the connection, it just deepens it in another way. Tenderness turns hungry. The gentleness gets teeth. And in that moment, fucking isn't something less, it's something more.

Yeah,

maybe there's a difference in words, but in real life it all blurs. It's not one or the other, it's how it feels, not what it's called. Whoa!

Roula (02:23)
Yeah, when I read her comment, really, I get like goosebumps because she worded everything so incredibly good. Yes.

Rosie (02:34)
I Couldn't

have said it better. I wish we could re-record the episode because the way she put it is just so succinct and articulate and you understand immediately what she is talking about and it takes it to a deeper level. I think it was a great comment. So Kath Bear, thank you very much for leaving that comment on Instagram. We will link the episode in the show notes. I think it was quite an interesting one. ⁓

Roula (02:43)
Yes!

Yeah.

I'm so glad to

hear, to read a comment that adds a value to what I said, to what I thought and triggered me in rethinking. I love that. Thank you so much.

Rosie (03:13)
Yes, thank you. I think it's made us both go away and reflect. And we will continue to play the voice recordings and share some of the comments we get. So keep them coming. We'll find the best way to include them. Chuck it in at the beginning of the episode, maybe an end. Maybe even record a new episode because yeah, it's just really cool. Don't you love it, Roula, hearing from our listeners?

Roula (03:39)
Oh, they make my day. I love it. It motivates me. It makes me want to record more. Also, it takes me out of this loneliness, even though I see the downloads and we have about 900, which is great. But it gives a voice and a reality for the one on the other end. And I love that. There's a human being listening to us. And this is a responsibility too, I hope.

Rosie (03:42)
Yeah. Right.

⁓

Yes, yes. That's

true. ⁓

Roula (04:08)
We're not failing it. We're

not psychologists. We're not here to give advice and replace. No, we're here to elevate people and

authentic conversations that everyone has in their daily life. That's all.

Rosie (04:26)
For me, it's two friends sitting down and having a chat, and our listeners are joining in on that. That's how I see it. We're not here to preach or say we're right, you're wrong, even though we probably come across as very judgmental sometimes. It's just two friends chatting.

Roula (04:33)
Yes. ⁓

and

Rosie (04:43)
⁓ All right, all right, goodbye everyone.

Roula (04:44)
advices from me. All right, let's wrap it up. Let's wrap it up.

Goodbye.