The Rosie and Roula Show

142: Part 2 - Revisiting the phrase "It Is What It Is" - Listeners Insights: Acceptance, Triggers & Finding New Words

• Roula Abou Haidar and Rosie Burrows

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“It is what it is.” A phrase some people find comforting — while others find it triggering. In this episode, Roula & Rosie dive into the meaning, the emotions, and the personal stories behind this deceptively simple expression. 


Inspired by thoughtful listener comments, the conversation unpacks: 


Why “it is what it is” can feel empowering for some but dismissive for others. 

How phrases get tied to personal experiences (yes, even Conor McGregor 👀). 

The balance between acceptance and hope. 

Alternative ways of expressing resilience without shutting down emotions. 

Why community feedback (shoutout Funky7961 & Codex!) makes conversations richer. 

It’s reflective, a little funny, and definitely relatable for anyone who’s ever struggled with the fine line between letting go and holding on. 


Keywords: it is what it is meaning, podcast on acceptance, letting go podcast, resilience mindset, coping with illness podcast, alternative to it is what it is, mental health podcast conversations 

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Rosie (00:00)
Fake smile on your face. You sure it's recording? Yes, okay.

Now here's the other comment. Are you ready for me to read out this other comment?

Roula (00:11)
I find it a little bit... nervous, I'm nervous. Go ahead.

Rosie (00:13)
You're nervous!

Before we hit record, you were like, Rosie, what are the episodes you want to talk about today? It seems as time goes on, Roula you're becoming more and more controlling and you want to know what we're talking about.

Roula (00:27)
This is the first time I ask this question. You're making it sound like every time. I know, I'm having some anxiety because I'm in this time of the month.

Rosie (00:29)
That's true, it's weird, it's weird. Okay, now.

interesting. Thank you for telling me. All right, maybe I should give you a heads up of the other episodes after this one. We don't want you feeling anxious. Back to this though. Here's the other episode from Funky7961. And this, they just commented a couple of days ago, they're obviously catching up on episodes. They've said, I often say it is what it is as a way of accepting the things in life that are beyond my control.

Roula (00:38)
Yes.

Rosie (01:03)
It's not about giving up, but about choosing not to dwell on what I can't change, especially when it comes to my health. Things unfold in stages and I know I'm already doing everything I can. Letting myself spiral into worry or frustration doesn't help. So instead, I focus on moving forward one step at a time with acceptance and a steady mindset.

Roula (01:26)
Wow. Beautiful. Yes. OK, both comments are spot on, are excellent. I'm grateful for these comments. Yes, yes. You know, I don't know what to say. I feel that we were very harsh on our previous episode, though, though that's the thing. Hearing people coming

Rosie (01:27)
Wow alright, mic drop.

Me too.

Roula (01:52)
out and telling us what they think about a topic we talked about. This is the whole purpose. We're not setting our opinion in stone and we're not saying this is how things should go. ⁓ Everyone deal with stuff in a different way. And yes, I totally agree with our listeners. It is what it is. It is a way to accept. OK, I'm going to give it a crazy funny twist.

Rosie (01:59)
Yeah.

Hmm.

Ooh, okay.

Roula (02:21)
I don't know if it's funny.

I think the sentence, it is what it is, became for me something I dislike because of Conor McGregor.

Do you know Conor McGregor? Yes. He's a... I don't want people to comment on this, but he is a bad person. The things he does in normal life. I think so. I think so. It was the trigger for me to talk about it is what it is. Because he has a big mouth. He hurt and insults people.

Rosie (02:37)
I do not well, but he's the MMA fighter. Yeah.

I feel like you might have mentioned this in the other episode too, but I've forgotten the specifics. Yeah.

Roula (03:01)
And then he loses after he's losing. He lost. says it is what it is. This is where my question came from.

Rosie (03:10)
So you've associated that phrase with someone you don't like.

Roula (03:13)
I associate it with him and I do hear it from other people. So again, I repeat, I need a closure. For me, it is what it is, it's not enough. I need something to it.

Rosie (03:25)
So what's something else we could say so

you and I get less triggered? What's a different sentence that means the same thing but doesn't trigger us?

Roula (03:34)
Yes, something in the line of I can do whatever in my power, but I don't control everything. I'm going to accept this result.

Rosie (03:45)
Mmm. Mmm. Sometimes I say things like, I can't control it. Like it's, it's the shit situation. I can't control it though. And I just need to focus on the things I can control. I've been known to say stuff before. Yes, naming it. That's right.

Roula (03:57)
Yes, like you're naming it. You're naming,

you're naming the situation, you're naming the feelings. I think that's what triggers me. I like the naming because...

Rosie (04:08)
We're a little bit

flowery, aren't we? It is what it is, it's so to the point. There's something called Occam's razor, which is there's no point adding extra words. You just say it as simply as you can. And I think that's exactly what it is, what it is, is. It's just simple.

Roula (04:23)
Yes. All right.

Then I have to say it is what it is. This is how I think. This is how you think. Our listener are right. They're strong. They're resilient. They have this acceptance. And then in a away, I admire that because I don't have it in me to say it is what it is and move on. ⁓ I feel there's something that I fight enough.

Rosie (04:28)
Ha!

Yep, it is what it is.

Mmm.

Roula (04:50)
And yes, if it's my health, it's in the hand of someone else, the medicine, the doctor, or even, I mean, I do have an illness in my hands that is not curable.

Rosie (04:51)
Ooh, yeah.

Right.

Roula (05:05)
But I cannot say it is what it is. Because I hope it's going to change. And yeah, I don't know. I find it hard to settle

Rosie (05:16)
you and I struggle with this. It's an ongoing thing, but I just want to say thank you to both Codex and Funky. Were they the, was that the names? Yes. For commenting because it's, it's resulted in another episode and it's made you and I, Roula really think and reflect on this. And we are both still, yeah. And, and we've come to the conclusion we're both still triggered by it is what it is, but we now understand the meaning of it.

Roula (05:19)
Mmm.

⁓ I will be thinking more.

Rosie (05:43)
And we agree with the meaning of it, just not the words.

Roula (05:46)
Yes, but when I hear them, I will accept them. Now that I heard other people's when I hear it from someone else, the voices of Funky and Codex will resonate in my ears. And I will be, yeah, they deal with it in a different way. They see it differently. This is how they feel. And I respect that.

Rosie (05:58)
that. Yeah.

Mmm.

I'm so grateful for it. All right. We'll catch everybody in the next episode. Bye.

Roula (06:13)
Thank you,

my dear listeners, bye.