The Rosie and Roula Show

95: Why It's not Weird To Talk to Ourselves (also out loud! not only in our head)

• Roula Abou Haidar and Rosie Burrows

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Why We Talk to Ourselves (and Why It’s Not Weird) 

Do you ever narrate your day? Mutter under your breath in the supermarket? Say things like “nope, not that way” out loud to yourself? 

This week, Rosie and Roula dive into something surprisingly universal: talking to ourselves. From muttering in makeup aisles to full-blown inner monologues said out loud, they unpack the psychology, humor, and human truth behind self-talk. 

Rosie confesses to giving herself pep talks and commentary during everyday errands. Roula shares how her singing and chatting in public has gotten her mistaken for a shoplifter. Together, they explore how self-talk can be a form of clarity, comfort, and (sometimes embarrassing) self-expression. 

This episode explores: 

Why we talk to ourselves and when it starts to get weird 

How self-talk helps us process thoughts and regulate emotions 

  • The power of aging out of embarrassment 
  • Supermarket shame, brain fog, and accidentally suspicious behavior 

If you've ever had a full-blown conversation with yourself while cleaning or shopping… this one’s for you. 


Takeaways 

  • Talking to oneself is a common and comforting habit. 
  • Self-talk can help clarify thoughts and feelings. 
  • Embarrassment in public can stem from self-awareness. 
  • As we age, we tend to embrace our quirks more. 
  • Self-talk can be a way to express opinions and feelings. 
  • People often feel self-conscious when they talk to themselves in public. 
  • Pets can create humorous and chaotic moments in our lives. 
  • Talking to oneself can be a sign of mental clarity. 
  • Embracing self-talk can lead to greater self-acceptance. 

 

Keywords 

self-talk, pets, psychology, everyday life, embarrassment, personal stories, humor, communication, mental health, habits 

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Rosie (00:00)
I have to tell you something, Rula. So Tilly loves food. She likes to scavenge. We were walking around the caravan park today and all of a sudden she disappeared. And I hear this sound. Like she's, you know, licking something, like drinking something. I'm like, what? Tilly, where are you? Anyway, I find her. She's jumped, like her front paws are up on a table and she's found a bowl full of...

used oil. Someone must have used it to deep fry or something and then pulled it into a bowl and she was just lapping it up and I was like my god stop! ⁓ So bad! Anyway she had a drink of water and I sort of took her in the van and said you need to chill out and you create... well about 45 minutes later she's whining at me. I'm like what do you want? I want to sleep in. Anyway she...

Roula (00:34)
⁓

This is terrible.

Rosie (00:57)
She comes out of the crate and just does this huge vomit ruler. It was huge and just spread across the floor. was feral. I almost threw up at the smell of it. So bad. That is how my day started. All because she, she decided to guzzle some oil. Gross.

Roula (01:11)
⁓

Gross, really gross. Yeah. Well, two days ago, I woke up, went out to the kitchen and saw on the floor also my cat who vomited and it was so dry and a lot and it was full of hair. And you know what my reflection was? ⁓ sweet. You got rid of this hairball. I'm so happy for you.

Rosie (01:19)
That is gross. Yeah. I just wanted to share that.

Roula (01:43)
So Tilly got rid of the dirty disgusting oil

Rosie (01:43)
We love our animals.

was so bad. There was just so much of it. ⁓

I, anyway, let's get into the episode, shall we? Yeah, exactly, move on. She's licking on the floor where I cleaned up the vomit. So perhaps there's some residue.

Roula (01:55)
Vomit makes me want to vomit. Stop.

⁓ shut up. She even likes her vomit. Disgusting.

my goodness, what was that?

Rosie (02:14)
That. Yeah.

Roula (02:16)
Okay.

Do you talk to yourself?

Rosie (02:33)
Do I talk to myself? ⁓ yes I do. I do. Yes.

Roula (02:38)
Rosie talks to herself okay let's get into this

tell me tell me Rosie what do you tell yourself do you speak to yourself out loud share share

Rosie (02:52)
I don't even know what to share. Yes, all the time. I'll just talk to myself. Okay, I'm just gonna do this and I'll put that there. Ouch, you're fucking idiot, Rosie. What did you do that for? Okay, let's go put this away and I'm just gonna put that there. And I might be in the shops ruler and do you ever have the moment you've walked in the wrong direction and you need to turn around? I always feel like an idiot when that happens, but I'll say,

Not that way, wrong way, turn around. Like I'll say it, I'll actually say it out loud. Quiet, yeah, yeah. I'll say it quietly, but I say it out loud. So I talk to myself a lot and I talk to Tilly.

Roula (03:25)
someone is watching you.

Rosie (03:36)
Definitely. How about you?

Roula (03:39)
Linkin Park talking to myself. That's a good song. ⁓ Yeah, I do talk to myself at the shops. I sing. I sing a lot. I just whenever I go to it happens that driving to a shop, I had a song and then song is on my mind and then I enter the shop and I still sing in the song. And sometimes I know the entire lyrics. So I'm full on that performance.

Rosie (03:50)
⁓

Yeah, yeah.

Roula (04:07)
And talking to myself, I think my daughter really annoyed by it because whenever she's around in the kitchen or around me, I'm talking and she's constantly asking me, are you talking to me? No, no, no, no, not talking to you.

Rosie (04:20)
Hahaha!

Roula (04:23)
So, yes, what do I say to myself? What do I say to myself? I can't remember now. What I know is that what I don't like, something I do is that when I say what I'm going to do.

Rosie (04:24)
Why do you think we talk to ourselves? yeah, what do you say? Let's start there.

Mmm.

Roula (04:47)
⁓ It's just what you described. So for example, let me get this ball and cut this vegetables and make the salad. I don't like that. And then I realized I'm doing it. I don't want to do this.

Rosie (04:53)
Yay yay yay!

⁓ Why don't you like it?

Roula (05:04)
Because I think it unnodes me when someone else is doing it.

Rosie (05:07)
⁓

Tilly's very chatty. I keep muting my microphone. Do you need to go outside? Give me, ⁓ I hope not. Let me just open the door. You'll have, ⁓ well you can keep talking. I'm, ⁓ all right. I'm literally gonna open the door and then she can go out.

Roula (05:12)
What does she want? Maybe she wants to vomit again? Go outside, I'll have a bite.

Because my stomach is rambling.

⁓

okay, okay. So I'm gonna get something to eat quickly.

Rosie (05:31)
Welcome back.

Roula (05:32)
And the

truth is...

Rosie (05:37)
What snack did you get?

Roula (05:40)
like a protein chocolate bite mmm yeah all right all right so dear listeners we just took a quick break because Tilly needed to go outside and I needed to have a chocolate bite mmm oh okay

Rosie (05:43)
Mmm, healthy, yummy.

And I had a sour worm.

You're judging me. I think talking to yourself is great. I find it quite comforting. I don't see a problem with it. And when other people are doing it, I feel like, ⁓ there's another one. It's another person who does it. I don't mind it. Unless they're being really loud. Like if you're shouting to yourself, that might be a bit distracting. Yeah, I think it's cool. I like it. But what if I had someone ask me this, this and I'm

Roula (06:15)
⁓

I d-

Rosie (06:32)
totally cutting you off and I'm not sorry. When you're reading a text, for example, do you read it in your voice, like in your head, not out loud? Do you read it hearing the other person's voice or is it just silent and you're just processing the words?

Roula (06:51)
I read it with another with a dead person voice in my head and my reactions when I read something keeps my husband at his toes. Because it's like what what's going on? And I'm like, oh nothing. And I walk away and say what the fuck? It seems like you were reading something very critical or funny or whatever. Oh, I say something. Oh.

Rosie (06:55)
Mmm.

Why?

So do you show it on your face or something when you're reading? that what?

Roula (07:21)
Really? No.

Rosie (07:21)
do you? Do you?

Roula (07:27)
I answered the message without messaging.

Rosie (07:28)
Just don't share with him what you're reading.

Yeah.

Roula (07:33)
you

Rosie (07:33)
is that? ⁓ right.

Roula (07:36)
Yes,

talking to ourselves is ⁓ I have read somewhere in psychology. ⁓ It was a book that I'm reading that actually it's really good to talk to ourselves. It's it's moment where you can clear up your thoughts, you can have your opinion when you speak it out loud, it's kind it's a way to express it.

Rosie (07:48)
There you go.

Yeah.

Roula (08:04)
Like

put it out there, do something with it. So talking to ourselves is not crazy, is not unusual. Our brain is talking all the time. And of course, the older we get, the more we do it because it's like we have less secrets to keep. When you were, when we're younger. ⁓

Rosie (08:14)
Yeah!

Is that what you think it is? I think it's just a matter of we don't give

a fuck anymore what people think of us.

Roula (08:29)
I cannot put it this way. There's a difference between I don't give a fuck what people think of me with what kind of person I want to be. Yeah. Because when we say we don't give a fuck what people think of us, it's misunderstood. It sounds like you don't care. You're oblivious. You're just, you know. No, no.

Rosie (08:29)
Maybe not. No?

Mm.

Well true, okay, yes, valid.

Mmm.

Right, right. And that's not what I mean when I say it. yeah,

true.

Roula (08:59)
I do now pay attention not to talk to myself when my daughter is around because it's annoying her like hell but she's 22, of course she's annoyed. I mean if I breathe she will be annoyed.

Rosie (09:04)
You don't want to piss her off.

Ha! You could just look at her wrong. The choice of being a mum, my goodness.

Roula (09:15)
Yeah

Yeah, that's stuck into ourselves. It's normal. You said something. You said something that if you walk the wrong aisle at the supermarket, you feel like, you're apologetic for whomever is watching you.

Rosie (09:21)
I'm gonna be so self-conscious after this, yeah.

Well, not apologetic, but yeah, like

I need an explanation. I always say something. And I don't know if it's for me or for them. I think it's a bit of both. I think it's both. ⁓

Roula (09:45)
You need an explanation for that person behind you. Why you suddenly turned?

Rosie (09:54)
Especially now, things are so expensive and the prices keep going up. I'll be looking at things and go, I'll say out loud, what? I'm not paying that. Things like that. Constantly talking to myself.

Roula (10:07)
do this. I do this when I look at a product and the price is outrageous and product is full of microplastic microplastic because I have a microplastic scanner on my phone and whenever I want to buy a product I check first like shampoo soap whatever have to go with water. I check if they have microplastics so I don't buy them but sometimes I'm shocked by brands a really expensive brands and they're full of microplastic and this is when I talk to myself what

Rosie (10:15)
Mm-hmm.

That's cool. Yeah.

Roula (10:37)
the shit or ⁓ a cheap brand with no micro plastic. I find myself praising it, praising the product.

Rosie (10:44)
Ha ha!

That actually sounds like a really cool app. I didn't know there was such a thing. You need to. ⁓

Roula (10:49)
I'll share it with you. It's really cool.

I praise the products in the shop. So two days ago, okay, I'm going to make it short because this episode is also getting too long. Two days ago, I went to the the what you call a shop that sells soap and shampoo and perfume makeup and I can't remember the word in Dutch. It's drug history. Like it's not a drug store, but that's yeah.

Rosie (11:07)
Mmm.

Drugstore. Hmm.

Yeah, I know what you mean. Yeah.

Roula (11:17)
By the time I entered the shop,

I had a brain fog. Totally forgot, don't know why am I there. And yes, I have my notes, my groceries list. I did not think to look into it because I have a brain fog. And I started walking around, I'm singing. So by brain fog, I did not forget the song that I was singing. So I'm carrying my bag and walking in the shop and trying all the makeup, smelling all the stuff and singing the song.

Rosie (11:25)
Yeah.

Of course not, yep.

haha

Roula (11:47)
And then I found the lady that works there started like shadowing me because maybe she thought I'm going to steal something because I look suspicious. Yeah, I was like slowly walking, singing, talking to the product, but I'm not putting anything in my basket because I don't know why I'm there. I'm trying to look at these products. can't remember why I'm there.

Rosie (12:00)
Heh.

Roula (12:12)
And then, of course, I bought whatever just because I can't leave the shop like this. It looks really suspicious. Yeah, I bought something and then I went in the car. I remembered why I was there. So I went to another the same shop, another address because I was too embarrassed to go back again.

Rosie (12:16)
Without anything, right?

my god, you're too embarrassed.

Roula (12:34)
Yeah, that's it experience.

Rosie (12:35)
⁓ no, I've

decided like, cause it happens a lot. I forget something and I need to go back into the shop. It happens quite regularly. In fact, it happened yesterday at the pet shop. to go back in twice. It happened at the automotive parts store the other week. It's happened at Bunnings, our hardware store before. It's a regular thing for me. And I'll just say, yep, it's me again. And they'll look at me like, yeah.

Roula (12:48)
Ha!

Probably

they don't even remember you, or now yes.

Rosie (13:05)
Yeah, exactly. They just sort of look at me like, yeah, so I've just drawn attention

to it.

Roula (13:10)
I

wonder, there is this supermarket close to my home and I go there almost every day but I don't see any parents from Liam's school because they all live in the same area. And I wonder, am I the only one who goes to the supermarket every day? Where do they go? Because I don't meet them. It becomes embarrassing that the people working there, they see me every day at the supermarket. It's like I don't have a life.

Rosie (13:17)
Hmm.

Hey

But why is that embarrassing?

Roula (13:38)
⁓ gosh, okay, that was a fun one. That's it. It's not related to the topic.

Rosie (13:41)
I actually don't remember, what were we

talking about? I don't remember what the episode was about. What was it? yes. Well, yeah. Let us know. Do you talk to yourself? Are you embarrassed about it? I embrace it now. It's just me. In fact, I think I do it more and more the older I get because I've realized I like doing it.

Roula (13:47)
Talking to ourselves.

I try to avoid it and thank you for listening to my weird stories today. Bye!

Rosie (14:13)
Alright, bye!